


Vacillation Waltz

by Lunyhime95, TheSilverWolf9



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chucklevoodoo Noncon Fantasy, Chucklevoodoos, Consensual, Cum Inflation, Cunnilingus, GAMZEE'S HEAD VOICES SUGGESTING BAD THINGS, Gen, JUST KNOW THAT GAMZEES HEAD VOICES WANT HIM TO DO BAD THINGS, LIKE VERY BAD AND UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mention of Somnophilia, NOT GOOD THINGS, NSFW, Noncon Fantasy, Noncon Fetishizing, PWP, Shameless, Size Kink, Smut, THEY WANT NONCON, at all, he got eated, im so sorry you guys, maybe art later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:48:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunyhime95/pseuds/Lunyhime95, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverWolf9/pseuds/TheSilverWolf9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Now as a separate work! </p>
<p>.....Holy wow, that's 11000 words of pure smut right there....</p>
    </blockquote>





	Vacillation Waltz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheSilverWolf9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverWolf9/gifts).



> Now as a separate work! 
> 
> .....Holy wow, that's 11000 words of pure smut right there....

He catches you whilst getting his wander on in the hallways.

 

It's a lot further than anybody's willing to go, and that's most exactly why you moved yourself down here.

Was he looking for you?

You try not to hope.

You try not to cringe.

 

You stiffen up when Karkat's attention gets focused on you, stay half-hidden and still in the shadows. You haven't paid much attention at yourself lately, and....well....

 

"Gamzee?"

Your eartips flick at your name. You haven't heard anyone call for you in a long ass time, and your pusher pounds all the way up to your auriculars. Your body is unsure whether to stay, come forward, or scramble back further into the dark. You aren't sure if you want to rush him and just scoop ~~your~~ Karkat up and have his miraculous heat in your arms, or if you might spill that warmth across the walls, across the floor, down your shirt, raise candy-colored claws to your lips--

You don't know what to do.

"......hh.....Hey, Karkat......brother...."

Your voice is.....quiet, but also giddy, gleeful; rough and raspy from disuse and neglect, and your throat almost feels raw. You keep yourself right the fuck where you are, try not to move, you don't know what might happen if you do. You hope you don't want to find out.

".......whatcha doin'......goin' around the halls down here?"

Karkat sighs all huffy-like, and you swear you can see the roll of his eyes from where you are,"Being a moronic dolt, apparently. Trying to figure out the pathways of the lab, as usual. Where have you been, anyways?........Have you been down here, the whole time?"

You feel your mouth move, soundlessly for a bit, trying to work your vocals out,"...Around.....just.....gettin' my chill on in one of them empty rooms that's all to bein' down here.....," you don't let on to anything else, he'd be horrified at what you've been doing, you better just keep that noise to yourself.

"Are you alright, Gamzee? You sound......subdued, or something," he tries to squint for you, pick you out of the darkness. There's a tiny prickle at your horns.

"..........WOULD A BROTHER PREFER IF I UP AND GOT MY SHOUT ON!?"

He winces from the sudden volume, you have to retain control through the now present buzz in your horns,"I didn't mean your fucking volume, I meant the way you're speaking. Trailing off and.....something..."

Oh. Your jaw tries to relax,".......ain't nothing for you to get your worry on for, bro...," Yet, a piece of your pan thinks. You squash it down, try to at least,"......ain't a thing....."

"I just.......I haven't seen you for a while, Gamzee. Can......can we talk?"

You need to get a hold on yourself, because this is the last person you want to get any hurt to. The cacophony of noise and whispers in your pan tell you otherwise, but you've gotten better,"....Yeah...we can motherfuckin' talk, bro...."

"How have you been? Specifically, how have you bee feeling lately? Are you eating and bathing regularly? How about sleeping? How are you doing emotionally and mentally?"

He's asking so many all at once, which has you confused for a second. He's obviously been worried about you, and that makes the palest part of you what feels for him just about break,"....uhm.....I'm...I've been alright, if I got my guessin' so...."

Karkat starts forward just a step, hands extended palms up,"Can I see you?" His voice is one of the softest you've ever heard him be. Your hand reaches, but drops in hesitation. You.....you're such a coward, aren't you?

 

_J̱͓̏̋Ǘ͇̹̟̬̠S̬̘͖̝̥ͣ͌̋̀͜T̘̘͎͕̱̬̗͑́ ͙͑͌͜T̵͇̫̗̙͎̊ͪA͎Kͥͣ͋ͪͨ̎͗Ḙ̡̯̍͊̀̅͌̽ ̯ͫ̾͢H̐ͥI̟̱̜̱̭̦̠ͬ̆̉́M͕̗̜͐̈́̒͆̚_

 

 

"Gamzee....?"

You snap out of yourself. Out of irritation and anxiety of your pan, you reach up and take his hand, slowly step out. You hate yourself, when you're starting to get like this. The voices quiet, and you wince as the full light of the hall hits your eyes. But you can still hear them flit about in the back of your mind.

"Gamzee..., "He calls you gently, drawing you bit by bit into the light, his other hand reaching up to rest on your cheek, swallows heavily,"You've gotten even taller, I swear. But hardly any thicker, we should get you something to eat."

A think occurs in your head, but that's hardly anything even remotely, appropriately pale. You just keep your trap shut, give ~~your~~ Karkat some sort of nod and wait for him to lead. He pulls you slowly into embracement, clutching close before he draws away again. Keeps a hand laced with yours and tugs you away from the shadows, gets you to follow up to his block. It's not as far from everyone as you'd like, but farther still enough. Settles you into a hastily put together pile of romance novels and torn up scalemates, a couple of your honk horns thrown in. Karkat uncaptchalogues an opened can of grub hash and offers it up to you, watching carefully.

"It's not seared cluckfowl, but it does well enough in a pinch."

You think your digestion sac makes some kind of noise when your sniff nub takes in the open can. You take the grub hash, study it for a bit.....and....You tilt it back and down it quickly in a distraction from your own terrible thoughts. You realize how very hungry you actually are. When was the last time you ate? Karkat waits for you to swallow before running a hand over your chest and arms in what you think is supposed to be comforting. It works a little. He settles his head against your shoulder, waiting for you,"Tell me about your feelings, Gamzee."

It's such a simple request. He's trying to get you into a feelings jam, and while you would greatly appreciate one just about right motherfucking now, you can't risk it, won't risk it, far too many known and unknown consequences, Karkat's own safety included. You _will_ not risk it, especially now, in his pile, where you could do anything, and nobody would..........

_Í͍̰̠̜̘̪̏̎̄͂̌̄͠S̛͚̰̲͚ ͓̃̓ͮ͌̽ͅḨ͓Ȩ͓̳̦̳ͧ ͕͙̹͈̙N̊͆O̻̓́̒ͫT̤̝̠̝̱̠ͅ ̱͚̥̼̜͓̳̇͞Ý̵̲̳̫̤O̟̿͋ͦ̓ͭ̅͢Ŭ̴̦͚̰̝ͥR̩̼̝̩̝Ś̻͔͙?̟̜ͥ̂̌͡ͅ_  
_͇̩̱̗ͩ͛͛͋͝_  
_ͮ̾̈̈ͥ͑͌͏̝̯͈̗͈̜̠H̶ͣ͑ͧ̎̓ͩ̒Ǎ͕ͣͨͮV̛̀̆ͅE̢͙ͤ͋ͨ͒ ̸̲H̜̙͂I͔̯̺͐̊͌M̠̖̟̠̲̬̽̾̅ͫ̆ͩ͢_

 

You have to breathe in heavy gulps of air to calm down,"....'m fine...."

Karkat's brows furrowed incredulously,"You don't look fine, Gamzee. It's alright. You can talk to me about whatever it is, I'm here for you."

Every part of you believes him, wants to believe him, at the same time, you just want him. That darker urging wants ~~your~~ Karkat out of obsession, but you just want him 'cause he makes you better. These feelings all mix around and fucking up and hurts you pusher like a stab wound,"....I....I really can't, Karkat...please......I'm okay....." You hate this, lying to him. ~~Your~~ sweet beloved is leaning on you and you want to touch him so bad, so motherfucking bad, but you don't got any kind of trust for your own hands. They shake with the want, but you gotta keep control. You are in control of yourself. Won't even think about touching him until you make yourself so you can't ruin him. That's all you're good for, anyway, ain't it? Ruin and Corruption is the song the bard sings best. You'll ruin him.

Karkat puzzles over you, your refusal to answer to his help. See the hurt flash on his face, and you could die right there from those pretty sad eyes he gives you. Reaches warm, soft little hands to your face, soothes away jitters you didn't know you were having and makes your breathe ease up and slow in. You get a nuzzle for being trouble and a quiet, lulling shoosh from him. Whatever he's doing, it works for the most part. Karkat could do whatever and you'd let him.

 

And oh, bless him, bless ~~your~~ sweetest boy. You give him nothing, have nothing for him, yet he'd give you everything. Got his sweet little hands gettin' their pap on, and nuzzling his cute ass self at you. Makes stop at all the noise going on inside. A trembling hand (yours)reaches up and carefully places itself on his back. You daren't move from there, who knows what you could do to him if you suddenly lose yourself? You saw the other timeline, you know what happened. A rumble starts up in your chest and your voice box, and that probably was a sob you just made. Karkat's response is immediate, positive, murmurs sweet words, coos devolving into wriggler purring, all sweet as sugar floss, matches in time with your thick rumbling against your thorax. He reaches both hands up to hold the sides of your face the moment he hears the sob, leaning up at you. Nuzzles and kisses both cheeks right under your eyes, encouraging the dam to break and- oh, what do you know, it feels wet - puts you under his own special little trance that only he can,"I'm right here," he whispers over and over, variations on the repeat,"It's okay, I'm right here, you can let go......"

You blink a few times, try to keep back the tears, yet cold spills over your cheeks anyway, and you finally just _do_ , just give in to him( you could never deny him anyway). You cry large, noiseless sobs that hurt your air sacs like a bitch. Your other arm comes around and pulls Karkat into you, like you could force him inside your thoracic cage, right up next to your pusher. You realize for the moment that you don't want anything else, just him. Just ~~your~~ precious love diamond in your arms, that's all you need. Pray to stay like this, pray to keep him forever, pray that you don't mess up this time. But.....no, you want to stay....but your pan is fixin' to do somethin', and you gotta get away, need to get away before you hurt ~~your~~ best beloved.

But you wanna stay _so_ badly.

 

_W̠̺̭͎̭͈ͭ̃Hͩ́Ȧ͑̾̀͛̉͌Tͧ̃ͨ̓͐҉̝ ̼͒̉T̔ͧ͌Ḩ͕̞̰E̔ͧͤ͗͟ ̠̲̙͉̻̜̼M̶̙͇̒̏ͨͩ́O̫͖̰̳͔̘̩̽̏͌T͓̝͇̝̳͇́Ĥ̤̝̦̭̙ͪ̓̑̄ͅE̢̻̪̗̟͚̒̍ͪ̽ͤͣ̉R͚͓̰̱̔̂͗̇͗́F̣̒͢Ü̮̍ͬ͊ͣ̎͑Ḉ̪̮̺̆ͣK̳͍̤͟ͅ ̬͇̜͑ͨͬȦ̳͓͙͍̺ͬͨ͌ͧ̃ͮR̪̻͚̪̍̓̉ͪ̿͂̈́ͅĔ̫̹͎̔͋ͭ̇̈̑͘ ̜͊Y̻̫̹̤̗̦͙̅̈́ͮ̎̿̔͞Ơ̭̘̫̩̹̜̊̍ͧͥ̿U̲̼̠ͪ̀̾̿ͧͅ ̨̞͍͎͍̻͙̉̐ͥ̎͑̀ͅẆ̖̹̌̿̃͑̇ͯȦ̀̎͋Ȉ̦̭̠̹̾ͫ̂̎̄ͬT̤̝̜̦ͪͥͪ̎̓ͨ͞ͅI̤͓͉͋ͩͭ̂ͣN̪̞͊̄̂̓͛ͯ͗͟ͅG͙̻̹̬͎̥͙̀̈͑̔̾̂ ̫̙̟͍̼͌ͣ͊̌ͩF̴̈̊̒̑͆O̸̬̠̩͉̖̫̫͑̊͋̽ͭ̇Ȓ̰͖̰͋̍͐ͫ?̞̻̞̤̹͇̄̄ͦ_

 

You wanna stay.

You don't wanna see him dead anymore.

  
Karkat grips you back just as closely, head burying into your chest. His fingers curled into the sides of your shirt, unaware of the darker things flowing up for control of your think pan. Keeps on with digging for your thoughts and feelings,"It's going to be okay, Gamzee, whatever is hurting you right now, it's going to be okay. I'm not going to leave you, alright? Please, just tell me what's going on in your think pan. I can't help you if you don't at least give me a hint."

  
"...N-no....'m okay....promise....just......need you bro..." You are a fool, a fool consumed by greed and cowardice,"...just...j-just...needed a-a hug, y'see?...hehh..didn't get my hug on in a motherfuckin' long ass time...y'know...." you need to reassure him, and then leave so you don't put him in any danger, any _more_ danger, he's already _in_ danger. Oh mirth of mercy, ~~your~~ boy is sitting at the mouth of a cave what wants to swallow him whole.

  
You know he knows that you're lying, still lying to him. Frustration blooms on his pan and on his face, knows you ain't telling him something, still gonna be wont to try to make you spill,"I'm so fucking pale for you, Gamzee. I don't know what's doing this to you, but I'm pale for you and I want you regardless. I need to keep you calm, it's my fucking job to keep you calm. You're my moirail, what can I do to help you? What do you need?"

To hear this twists your pusher into something half happiness and so much sorrow, and you love ~~your~~ boy so pale, love him paler than the stars, but your pan twists everything else up in between, you pity him pale, red, confusingly black and not too sure about ash, but it all just feels like a sick and unfunny joke. Hell, you probably "human" love him, and you ain't all sure about that either. It ain't gonna do you no good to trouble your moirail with any of this.

".....Just stay, brother mine....just stay with me...."

"I'll stay with you," he responds after a moment, all reassurance and soft purring soothes. He curls in your side, all pride and crankiness and badgering forgotten, just being with you, makes everything feel all fuzz and fluff almost. His hand traces a diamond between your face, pectorals and abdomen over and over again, while you're clutching him close to keep him there, to keep the moment intimate. Swear up and down that no matter where, ~~your~~ Karkat just fits so perfectly up against you,"I'll stay, until you feel like talking to me.

You shut your eyes and cling, got the sweetest troll in the world what pities you. Diamonds being all traced into your skin, you nuzzle in the crook of his neck. Brother is so warm, always so warm, burning, and you're always so cold and you want that heat all over, but you'll settle for what good you've got already. You curl further into the pile, as if that was possible. Let his purring be your lullaby, nod to him,".....I'll try....just gimme a bit..."

Karkat almost trills some, and you probably might, too, loving how much of him you can feel, his pulse just bump-beating under that dove gray throat, how you'd love to put your lips to it, give Karkat a taste of a darker shade of red--

No.

Completely unaware of your inner conflict, Karkat tries his best to warm every inch of you, could make you almost the same temperature if he wanted. Sighs and closes his pretty rubying eyes.

 

_T̥̦͓̎̓ͥ͌̕Ǎ͔͍͇̻̆Ḳ̫̩̬͎͑̏̂ͤ̃́̿͜E̱̟̠̔̐ ̙̤̈Ḥ̷̋̏̚Í͖̗̩͔̲͗̌́M̪̞͕̤̥ͤ͊͑͞ ̵̰̱ͨM̘̗̣ͦ̾͗ͦ̃ͭͫO̺͔̠͎̗ͣ̂ͬ̿ͅT̖̟̲̩̫̜̞͌͗H̜͙̦̉͂͌̃̈́̒ͥ͘Ḛ̟̤̪̮͉̜̓ͫŖ̖̩̐F͏Uͬ͐C̟̘̲̠̹͂́͒̓ͪ͑K̎̒̉ͫͣͭ̚E̜̤̦͈̳̲͈̾ͭR̭̳̻ͪͬ̒̆́_  
_̤̠̀̌̇̓ͭ̚ͅ_  
̂̓ͦͤ _C̾̋̑̄͊͏͍͈ͅL̔̇̿͂̒̄Ȃ̳̀̉Ị̗̺̮̞̱̋͊͆̏ͬ͛ͨ͠M͞ ͍̗̊ͬ̊̈́ͣ̇̀H̷͑ͬ̏̚I҉̫̯͉͍̥̹ͅM͍̜͍̙̺̞̄ͩͮ̾ͦ̾͞_

 

Your hands twitch to squeeze almost too tight, you barely keep yourself. You try to come up with something to say to distract these thoughts from you. All that comes to mind is a fool's piece of scripture, but it's still something, hopefully enough to distract,"........'and the angel of double death descended upon the realm of the dead, discerned none wicked from innocent; he opened his great maw and slew the souls of what meant to rest all and all alike'......" You whisper it so quietly that you ain't completely sure if Karkat even heard you. You try to relax into the heat his little body provides, but yet the intrusive thoughts still try to sear at you. A light hum starts at your thorns again. You shut your eyes tight and your claws nearly puncture your sweet love.

Karkat flinches where your claws have him, pain flashing to his face. Grunts at the slight sting of claws, and a plume of worry flares up quick,"Hey.....hey! Relax. Tell me what's going on. Talk to me, anything. Please, Gamzee......"

His pleading pulls so terribly at you, and you're afraid of what's gonna come out if you talk, but not talking seems to just worry him more. You gotta think of something.

 

_D̟̫̪̭̀ͣṚ͙͔̼͋ͤ͡I̯̰̱̟͍̯N̵͓̯̩̜̦͖͐͛K̥͓̬̲͕̤͉̑̐͞ ̸̺̠͎ͧ̓T̪̮͚̣͚̥̪̾̑̍͑ͯͦͣ͟Ḥ͂̌͑̾̎̾ͦĖͭ̏̈́͘ ̨͒͂͆̋S̨̬̤ͥ̈Wͪ̒Ë͇̮̪̰́̽̈̊E̡̼̐ͧṮ͙̩͈͉͕ ̞̥̐̍̌̒̾͆͛O̴͈̣̿ͩF̵̺̻̝̗̈͆̃ͯ̓ ̟͔̲̞̹͔̐͊Ḧ͉͎́ͨͅI̢͓͚͎̦̮ͥ͑̆S̙͙̠̳̣̞̎ͦ̋̑ͅ ̩̞̳̹̌ͦ̾̄͜B̧͉̖͈͙̋̍̏L̗̦͍̳̳̐͆̑̉O̹̜̠̲̹͙̾ͦ͝Ò̘͈̠D̵̖̝͉̪̰̅ͯ̽ͮ̚_

 

Something _else_ , and fast.

  
You're so close to his throat........close enough to hear the rush of what you know to be his bright cherry pop what runs through his veins. Can smell the sugar of it, almost drives you to worse.

  
Karkat's hand slides up to your cheek, running back to your wild, untamed hair. He curls his fingers around the long tresses and idly trails up to your spiraling pieces of chitin, scritches away at scratchy, rough part. Takes in the state of you, and can probably smell your shirt, and for how long you've been wearing it,".....We should get you in the ablution trap...." he murmurs softly, smooths your tangled mess of hair back,"I can take care of you, even if you don't feel like talking right now...."

Some kind of choked up sound bubbles out of your throat. Most beautiful boy ever, don't even know what he's doing to you. Don't even know how bad an idea that's all up and being, the two of you locked in a small space together, where there ain't gonna be much in the idea of escape. Sweet little hands stroke around your horns, nearly soothes away the buzz; nearly. Drag all gentle through your messy-ass hair til he grabs your hand and pulls you up, brother being somewhat stronger than you got a remember to. Karkat leads you to his ablution block and clicks the door behind even though ain't nobody else to lock out, it's just the two of you and your stupid-ass pan what don't got a lid all the way on. He turns back to you and gives you that look when he wants you to do something.

  
"Well, c'mon, clothes off. Unless you want to do a fucking laundry load with your bath," Karkat turns back around to get the water on, trying to bring the temperature to a reasonable level, making guesswork of it,"Do you want me to get in with you, or are your limbs too gangly for shared ablutions now?"

You slowly tuck your limbs inside your ratchet-y shirt and nod your head some, despite the fact that's probably a bad idea. Probably not the best thing that he be sitting in the trap with you both naked. You've done fair enough with your control, but you ain't meant to last. You're careful as you tug your shirt from your horns, gotten one-too many holes in your shirts that way. Shimmy your pants down and huddle as small as you can- you really can't -to the wall of the tub.

  
Karkat also sheds his clothes, starts with the too-big sweater first, slightly out of your viewing, back turned. He's all kinds of self-conscious, your brother is,"Scoot forward," he requests before sliding in behind behind you and uncaptchalogues a cache of ablution toiletries. Makes a valiant effort at wetting your hair-mess down before dousing it with large squirts of shampoo, slowly works it in through your hair.

Honestly you think he probably really didn't need that much shampoo, but you ain't complaining much with the way he's rubbing at your scalp, working a purr and a couple clicks out of your vocals. Probably even fall asleep, as he tugs on you a few times to sit back up 'cause you drooping forward. This is the most relaxed you've ever felt in a long time, and Karkat's tiny hands turn everything that makes you up to mush. Him and the water combined make the ice flow out of you. You haven't had any intrusive thoughts for a good while, either. This is nice...this is good( too good, you need to leave).

  
Karkat hums, enjoying how you drift right off in his hands, you're sure. Doesn't want to get knocked in the face by your horns, so he pokes at you again until you can keep your oculars open. Careful as he is rinsing the suds from your hair and restarts the pattern with the other stuff, just as generous in amount and massaging. It's rhythmic and relaxing, fingers in your scalp, around your horns. Karkat leaves it to soak as he begins to soap off the rest of you, with gratuitous amounts of massaging between.

And oh holy motherfucking shit, this is the fucking bitchinest of tits of good that's making your bones all loose and shit. They're gone now, no more bones, 'cause your bro is trying to turn you into a pile of highblood jelly, it's working and you don't even mind. There's probably a dopey-ass smile on your face, and everything is all light and bubbly and hazy, like one of Strider's human animes that you filched from his room once, you should probably show it to Karkat.....

.......Actually, never mind on that....shit wasn't the most pale-inducement you got a feel onto.....more of a red (what the motherfucking orgy-tastic fuck???) feel 

.......shouldn't be thinking about no red things with your _moirail_ naked right behind you.

 

_A̩̤͉̥̘̜̿͒̕N̻̓D̙͎̩̠͈̗̀͆̕ ̲̬̩̙͈̫͟Ẉ̬̱͉͍͓̟̿H̡̙͎̗ͥͤ̈́Y͖ͬ̀̆͗͜ ̪̲̰̻͕ͣ̾̎̒̐ͩT͉̳̫ͫ͡H̛͎̲͎̤̪̜̞ͭ͒ͪ͆ͯ͂E͙̻͚̟͈͚̫͒͊̏̈ ͖̲̟̦̦ͨ̽ͤ̒͛Ḟ̠͍̦̬͛̓ͦͩ͂U͚̼̥͖̥̱̣C̡ͧK̹ͤͩ̀ͪ ̸̞̻̯̮̘̈́̎̄̈́ͭN̨̺ͣͫ̀̄Ǒ͓̭͔͒̃͑́T̓ͤͤ̇͘?̱̮͕̟͍ͥͩͭ̿̎̀_

 

You know you were just thinking something about intrusive thoughts before, you're fucking sure of it.....

  
Karkat's hands work literal miracles on your pectorals, a deep tissue repetition that you think is him trying to feel for your pusher, make sure you're for reals alive,"Gamzee, is this very toned muscle, or you just being skin and bones? I can't tell anymore, are you working out or not eating?" The latter is probably true, and you know Karkat is hoping for the former even though he knows you better than that. You ain't all into lifting weights like your strong brother was,"You're always so damned physically relaxed that I can't tell what's muscle and what's not."

"......'s just my skin, bro...don't think it's much anything else....." If he keeps rubbing at you like that, you're more than likely to show him _precisely_ what's being muscle and bones. And okay, yeah, you really hadn't been eating as much as you should've, truer still is that you can't really feel it unless you're in want to. Thoughts direct you to look at Karkat, all bared out in front of you with his brow furrowed in concentration and concern. Your eyes rake down his chest and over the bright grubscars on his side, before you snap 'em back up and keep your sight glued to the faucet,"....might.........not have been eatin' what I should..."

"Well, although it disappoints me, I can't say I'm exactly surprised."

His hands trail down to your middle to give it the same treatment he'd given your thoracic pecs, respectfully and appropriately stopping just above your bitsy area at least. Reaches back up to begin rinsing the conditioner from your hair, taking time to untangle thick stuck-together curls,"I'm doing your horns next," he informs you, pulling a jar of horn polish from his toiletry pile. Dips his fingers into the viscous stuff and reaches up to start on your left horn, slowly circles the breadth and laving his palm up and down to get it covered.

You wince as a tingle runs up and down your horn, more from pleasure than anything. Your mouth purses and wibbles some, and your eyes start to tear up. Your voicebox starts up a light trill and _fucking hell_ , messiahs help you if you jump him. You feel all kinds of good, almost like being nothing, light and floaty. A contented sigh crawls up and rumbles outta you, and damn, if only you were to die right now there would be almost no regrets.

Karkat works the oil into the all the tiny little crevice cracks that inevitably must have formed along your horns, you might have grown a bit since last you saw him. He takes his time, and if you get yourself any more worked up, poor brother might be dealing with an unsheathed bulge in the ablution water,".....Are you alright, Gamzee? Is that too much for you? We can stop, you know."

"....N-no, 'm fine bro....'m okay...jus' fine...," Just keep him behind you where you can't see him, feel him sure, but maybe as long as you can't see him, you should be fine. You _can_ have control of yourself, and you're gonna _motherfucking keep it_ for his sake,"........'m fine....," Maybe if you repeat it enough you'll believe yourself? Worth a try, you think. Maybe use this as a way to learn even better control, have ~~your~~ Karkat help you without knowing he's got his help on. You hope.

 

"......Are you _still_ not going to tell me what's wrong? " He slides his hand slowly up and down your horn, pressure firm to work the oil in. You can feel his need to help you twist itself to some kind of annoyed anxiousness. Starts to pinch down a little harder, then releases. Moves to the right horn, Karkat's tone dropping slightly,".....Do you still not feel like you can trust me?"

  
" _NO_!" You're horrified,"...brother, no, t-that's...that ain't it at all...." No! No no no nononono, it most definitely is not it at all! Of course you trust him! Always and forever, through starlight and back, to the Farthest Ring and back. You very dearly want to tell him, solve it all through. Have him there to tell you it's okay, it'll be okay. That he still loves you, will still pity you even though you're either flipping or shearing his flesh( oh, no, nonononononono, no, _never, you would never_ ).

But, for one, this is not something you wanna discuss with him, because _what if he really won't want you no more_? For two, this ain't something you can put out in words and talking, never had a way with speech like the way  ~~your~~ Karkat does. And for three, you're trying your hardest, but it's so bad, not enough, you don't want to fuck up, you don't want to do _anything_ that your bro ain't wont to like,".....'s really hard to make words for, Karkat...."

Karkat stills when he hears his actual name, attention solely on you now. He abandons his horn-rubbing to wrap his arms around you, hot little face settling into the dip of your spine. Holds you close, steadfast,"...I understand, Gamzee. I know what you mean. I don't ever sound like I can shut the fuck up, but words are hard to come by a lot of the time, especially when you can't tell what you're feeling. Just try, please? For me? Talk about it, even if it doesn't make any fucking sense, whatever you can say. I'll still be here for you, whatever it is."

  
You're trying, oh lords and messiahs, you're trying. You ~~love~~ pity him so much, and you're trying and it's _fucking hard_. Your mouth opens and closes all stupid-like for a bit. You can't make words for him, not even simple ones to tell him what's going on with you. All you good for is moving, acting.......

 

............But

You can....maybe _show_ him....?

 

_M͎̳̬̱̖̗͚͘O̤͇̝̘̘̫͊̂T͂͒̇H̷̟͖̻̳̘ͯ͂͂Eͭ͒̅ͪͥ̚͝Rͭ̃ͪͮͨͧ͟F̆ͩ̀͛̏̀͡U̞̞̬̼ͥͫ͒ͣͮÇ̹͕̠̥͈ͨK͊͘I̳̥̬͓͐ͮ͗͌Ņ̒͑̇̎ͫͤ̑G̞͚̻̹̮ͣ ̦̮̮D̹̓ͣ͗̋̇̅͜O̫̺͙̜ͥ́̏ ̢̙̠ͥͣ̇̀̌̊̊I͛̀̀̉̽̏ͭ҉̫̱T̷̝͌͛_

 

You can show him **_gently_** , fucking stupid pan voices.....

You carefully take his face in your hands, water drip-drip-dropping down back into the trap. Lean in and press lip to his forehead, your bro leans in for it, surprise him and press fully and hard and _most definitely not pale_ on his soft little lips, feel how he jumps from shock. Let your voodoos buzz through you to him and back and forth. Show him all of you, every confusing bit of you. And you can see all of him, try not to much 'cause you ain't got permission, but you can see he pities you with all he's motherfucking got. Can see a bit of him-

  
- _Karkat leaning in for the tender kiss to his forehead, and then the cool jolt of Gamzee's lips on his throws him off completely, sends him off on five different tangents of emotion. The chucklevoodoos really set him off like touching a live electrical wire, makes him feel like his whole body jerks with electric crackle, feels the fear-buzz shoot through him. He clutches Gamzee as if he was afraid they were about to be used for torture, tears springing immediately to his eyes. He relaxes into some state of only half-shocked, realizes Gamzee is trying to communicate his feelings with him, what he couldn't word, every mixed, conflicted, vacillated, powerful emotion he feels for Karkat, and his pity redoubles with fresh new tears as he experiences them. Pity. Love. Hate. Worry. Concern. And then there's a tendril of a more darker, possessive sensation, almost suffocating, almost swallowing him whole, nearly toxic( he feels it, and then it's gone). He keeps his hold on Gamzee, crying openly at the conflict his moirail has been feeling, tries to gather his own emotions into something coherent_ -

 

_F̰Ú͓̜͙͉̳̌͒̈́ͨ̀̚ͅC͉͊K͒ͤ̓̾̿I̝̜͔͗̿N̤̮͓͓̜̻̯͋͒̽G̻̲͚̺̓̓ͅ ͤT̮͓̩̱̯̔ͮ̿ͥ̌ͨͭȂ̺̩͔͇̖ͯͮͨ̂ͩK̹͈̫̜̯̅̀ͮ̈́̑̿ͦE̤̻̺̳̩̣̰̒ ͚͇̬̣̝̳̗̓̈́H̉̽̔̾̓I̘̠ͭ͌ͬ́ͭ̍͌M̹̟̭͂̓̚ ̤͖̙͆͗͋̈̔̏̚A͇͎̳͛ͬͯ̋͒L̈́̆͆̑͗ͮ̓R͓͍͙͖͌̐̉͗͐Ě͈̰͉̗̪͍̦̓̏À̓́ͧD̬̮̬͖̥͍̥͆̇̑ͥY̰̬̯͉̝_  
_̰ͬ̊_  
_̦̜͔ͭ̑̍͐ͪ̌ͯH̳̤̤̭A̼̬̰̳̼̩̿͛V̤̲͈̩̓Ḙ͉̜̌̈́͌ͅ ̪͈̦̬̍̾͛ͬ̄H̖ͦ͒̾͛İ̝̖͔̻͓̖͇͆̉̿S̝͙̮̲̱͙͌ ̠̞̜̍ͬM̭͖͎I̖͙̫̯͑̐͊̈́̾N̗ͤ̉̏̆D̠̣͕̺͛̓̉ͧ̆ͩ ͖̮̬̖̺͇͐̇͌͗͒̾Ạ͂L̼̯̔ͮͩR̩̊̄̈́ͅE͈͆͌ͧ̔A͓͔̣͎͐̅̾̍ͅD̜ͧ̏ͦ̑̀ͥͭY_  
_͖̣̰̿́ͩ͗͌_  
**_͍̣̼̑ͩ͐H̱ͫͩ͒͑ͧÅ͇̰͓͖̯̓ͪ̓V̞̞̬͖̝ͧ̽̓͌ͨ̉ͥE̘̻̙̅̅̄̾͗ͥ ̻͕͇̞͚͑ͣͪ́ͤH͚̰̞̲͔͎͛̋ͫͅǏ̳̼͇̲̟͈̤͊̎̍̽M̠̻̺̩̻ͥ̚_ **

 

You rip partially away, watch him inside and out, hope some that he don't hear your pan-voices. His eyes are taken over by the glow of your indigo, and streams of crimson spill and drip swirls into the water, some purple mixing in there because-- oh, you're crying too, that's fair. Your pusher shifts all kinds of funny, and you both are still just sitting there in the lukewarm water, breathing heavy while your color fades from his eyes.

Karkat clutches you tightly into him, breathing deeply for a few moments, mirrored tears streaming down your faces,"I didn't know." He finally says through cracked voice, sliding a hand up your hair,"I had no idea, Gamzee....," tries to clear his throat some,"What.....do you want to do about it?"

You....don't really got any kind of idea on what you want to do about it, wasn't planning on this, didn't actually think that far, go figure...You just bring him flush against you and hold him caged by your arms. There are a number of things you want to do, holding him as you are is one, kissing him again is another, and groping his grubscars is probably a bad idea for the moment,".....ain't all up and got any kind of surety on that....."

 

_H̯̳͍̫̜̽̈́̒̽E̱̱̝̹͓̽ ̪͚̎ͪͪ̈́̒̑ͬK͙̞̬͇̻͔̽̅͊̔ͣͨN̲͔̭͇̤Ŏ̩̘͇̌W̫̻̣̥ͫͦͅS͎̯͕̼ͮͅͅ ͍̥̜̰̾ͬOF̳̭͖ͪ͂̍̂ͬ ͔̂͒̿̏̍Ỹ̟̗̺̰̯̓̊̈́̄͗O̤͕̰̲̺̗̯͑ͦ͗ͬ̎͊U̻ͫ͌͌ ͖̲͚̌̊͑͆͊̿ͫṈ̦̋͗̓̊͊̈́O͚̰͈̥͂Ŵ̬̯̳̝͍͗ͤ̅̌ͅ_  
_̈̌ͧ̊̈́_  
_̮̬͉̯͓͒͌̔̍Ạ̰̭̫͙̣͆ͮͥͥ̐̄Ĩ̂̈ͪN̜͑'͉͎̜͇̘̮ͯT̟͋ͣ̃̂ͬ ͕̞͈̪͍̦̤Ṭ͙̝̯̮̇ͤͫH͕̞̾ͅẠ̞̙̫ͅT́̅̄ ͍̽ͮ̏̔̈̄ͧṞ̎E̟̱̱̺̫͛̾ͦ͊ͅA̤͔̳̅̿S͕̹̦̤ͫͭ̿ͯ̓̊O̫̼̳̭̮͗͋͋͐͒̆ͯN͙̠͇͙̯ͮ̈́̆͒̚ ̫͊̀̀̐Eͨ͑̄N̼̼̰̰̘̙̦ͣͦ̚O̽̈́̇̌͑͋Ú͌̏͆ͭ́̈́Ǧ͍͇͓͍ͤ̋̎͗̋H̦̯͉ͨ?̜̲̜̗̘̗̔̂̊ͤͫ_  
_̅_  
_̟̃ͮ̅͒́͒ͦY̻Oͤ͐̊Ŭ͇̮̥̙̎́͐̏̂ ͥ̈́̍̾͗ͫ̚C̬̬ͩ̉́A͕̺̅̆̓N͈̩͔̹ͣ̊ͪͬͩ̌͊ ̐̾͐ͫH̰̥̤̖̮̱À̯̼̗̓ͅV̅̓̐̿ͮ̂ͭE̯̋ͫ͆ ͕̉ͪH̪͉ͪ́I̘̼̯̟ͨ̿̈M̦̖̱̪̰͍̅̅̃͗̃ ̙͙̻̣ͩN̗̯͍͎͚̏̍̄̌̒̐Ȍ̱̓ͨ̆ͣWͨ̃̾͋́̆_

 

"I mean, do you want to keep on with the pale quadrant? Do you want to vacillate into something....something else? I'm not entirely sure what, but I'd guess into the flushed quadrant..."

He doesn't budge from your arms,  expands his heat right up against you just so rightly. You....you actually don't want to lose him pale. In fact, you are _very_ sure that you don't want to lose him pale, ~~your~~ Karkat is the only one what can make you calm and happy full of pale-pacification at your stupid self. However, you are also _quite_  sure you don't want any other motherfucker touching him up, putting hands to what they ain't got any right to.

You have to shove the thought from your pan because that ain't any right way for you to think like that, however true it is. You think on how the humans have got all their quadrants shoved and lumped up into one, and why can't you have him both? "...I don't know, best beloved......Ain't got anything screwed on tight enough to get a proper understandin'......but what about...how the humans do it...?"

 

"You want to _blend_ quadrants?" The idea shocks him, of course. You expected as much. There's a tugging at your head, and you ain't connected up with Karkat anymore but apparently you're still getting some kind of think-feed from him. You don't mean to pry, but-

- _It's a largely loaded idea, then again, had he not tried to do the same with Terezi? It was actually exactly what he wanted and needed - someone to accommodate his voracious appetite for quadrants. It may be way outside of the norm, but with the troll population reduced to what it was, they might just have to share reproductive and conciliatory quadrants like this. Long moments of considering and justification to himself_ -

"We could try that..."

You jump out of your heads, your own surprise, squeak the tub on your bottom some and splash some water," Y-you really mean that....!?" You got a nice wide-eyed stare for him and your pusher just about skips a few beats. You lean forward a tad too much, which puts you real close to Karkat's face again. He winces back in surprise and purses his lips that you wanna kiss so much. Oh bless everything on ~~your~~ sweet beloved, you'll love him through the end of the universe and back if he means it. Love him anyway just because it's Karkat.

He leans back forward on his elbows and exhales through his nose,"Alright, come here." One hand weaves up to rest in your hair,"But don't you use those gigantic fangs, I'm not looking to get bloody in the ablution water." His fingers curled slowly against your scalp, his expression softening.

You're probably a bit too eager while his hands tug you gently. The moment you meet his mouth again, a purr sputters back up and rumbles out. You've got _your_  ( _yours, yours, yours, yours_ ) precious love to yourself for the moment and you wanna just bask in the heat that transfers from him to you. You got a goofy-ass grin spreading wide up on your face and your bro is trying to calm you down with soft paps from your over-excitement, probably 'cause you coming at him too strong. You ease up some into light pecks peppering on his face.

Karkat manages shooshes through kisses, papping between smoothing your hair back. He settles into a rolling, soft purr of delight,"Teeth," he mutters softly, returning to your lips, chin, jawline far more slowly and gently, just a little overwhelmed,"I'd ask how you feel, but I think I can tell now." His expression lightens, and he delivers a tender kiss to your lower lip,"Are your voices doing any better?"

You sputter some, starled. You'd really actually like to not talk about that. You're fine for now and you haven't heard much in a while, which's gotta be good, right?

"....Yeah, I got my thinkin' so......haven't got their intrude on in a brother's pan for a bit....," you trail off, press again at his lip( soft, soft, sweet). You have a grip on yourself for now, and you don't want anything to set you off, even though Karkat's right there, and he'll up and shoosh you the fuck down if anything does happen,"......should be fine, brother..."

"Alright, alright," he makes a low noise when kissed again, something between a grunt and a sigh. He can't help but to worry about you, you think,"Please don't feel ashamed, Gamzee. You don't have to feel bad about something that isn't your fault. I pity you. I pity you so fucking much that it hurts, so tell me however you can. Chucklevoodoos, words, actions, I'm here to listen. And I guess to get kisses, apparently. *He nuzzles up on your nose with his own, what the humans call an Eskimo kiss ( you should probably stop taking Strider _and_ Rose-sister's things).

 

_M̳͚̥̰̝̘͚ͧͤ̒͐̉O͎̳̳̗ͥ̃ͥͩT̠̥̺̦̻͉̩̿̐̆̌̅ͤḦ̤̠̘͍͙̟̼̆͂̚E̟̳̰͉̳̜̰̐ͦ̌̏ͣR̟̬͖̠̘ͫͣF̬͚͈͖͚̄̓̊̓Ŭ̫ͨC̳̞̍͗K̩̩͂̾̑͋̊I̯̼̜̓ͫ͛ͦͤ̾ͦN̼̩͙̥̥ͩG̬ͥ̈́ ͇̦̳̩̭̖̳F̙͉̞̣̥͎O̖̹͗O͚ͥͦͭ̄Lͦ̌ ͎̥̟Ÿ̯̗̰̩͕̝́̈͐̔͂Ȍ̞̞̘͖͓̜͓ͪͦ̇̍̾U̞͌ͨ͌͒ ̞̖̞̘̘̰ͥ̐̽͛͊̒A̳̖̮̓͋R̫̖̠̺̄E̟̼̐ͥ_  
_̯̋ͅ_  
_̭̱̻̎̃́̐̏̔Ẉ͖͓̭̤̺͉ͣ̏̒ͯH̗̯̞̫̳͇A̜̘͈̬̯̱ͤ͂͐̑ͦT̜̱̣ͧ̽ ̲͈̪͍͇̬Mͥ̎̆̌ͮO̲͍̗̠ͬ͂͂R̲͍͎͈͔̆ͫ̅E̤͔̦̱͑͋ͪ̎ͮ ̼̦̺̞͓̍ͥ̉̏̎ͬD̏O̫̱̯̜ͮ̍̏͊ ̦͖̘̤̘ͧ̀ͭ͗Ŷ̤͉̗̐̅̊ͥO̘͕̜̭̪͎̓̈́͊ͯ̊Ū͍̪ͯͪ͑͐̓ W̼̣͙̋̓ͯ̀A̳̙̠͕N͙͍T̼̱̲̯̳͚̂͗ ͍͔͙̣͔̳O̩ͯ̃́F͍ͯ͒ͨ͐ͥͯ ̹̤ͥ̀ͫHͥ̃̔̌I͈͓̘̎ͅM̞̥̥ͭ̾ͩͥ̈́ͪ_  
_̮ͬͅ_  
_̻̤͌̒Ḭ̤̻͗̎̿ͬȘ͚̻͉͖̈̐̓ͅ ̩͍̋̍Ṱ͔̓̋̈̈́̎ͅḢ͉͕̭̀I͚̼̠̝͎͂ͥ̐̎̌͌̾S̗͖̖͖̋ͪͭ̓͋͂ͥ ̻̜͕͔̣͋N̉̉ͤͣ̑́O̤̹̦̺͈̫̥̿̋͛ͩͯ̿ͣT͖̻̣̖̣͙͔̈́ͤ̀ͦ͐ ̳̩̠̣̮̿E̫̍N̗̭̫Ọ͎̱̩̩̘̾U̜͎ͪͬͧ̏ͦ́̋Ġ͍̣̖̆̃̔͆̓H̥̩̱͚͔͍̭̍͒_  
_̜̲͚̺̃͋̂̓ͩͦ̈_  
_̬̹͚̹̥̺ͯ̽͒̀T͔̻̥ͬ̾̆̏̎̒Ạ̳̟̼͚̻͖ͤ͋̽͊̉K̑̉̎́̓̍̌E̬ͪ̽ ͖̼̞̑ͤH̻͇̰̞͕̼͍̍ͬͮͭͯ̄I͎͔̻̲̜̜̋̇M̱_  
_̫͍̲̩ͪͭ̏_  
_̜̻͎̓̐R͍̪͚͇̖̲͖͌ͬ̽͊ͨ͌Ȁ̟̌̋̎ͧZ̫̞͔͚̰̆Ê̝͍̫̝̹̳ͤ ̳̦͉̭̬͈̍̀A̞͔̭͍ͬ́ͧ͑ͭNͭ̐ͯ͑̋͂D̫͖̣͖̳̙̃̈̽ͪ̏ ̬̜̗̻̜͆R͖̮͋͋̏͗̊̊A̪̫̍͒̀ͭV̖͈̙ͨ̈͐̽̓͆A͍̙̦̎̋̎ͪĠ͎̝͇̽̽ͧͪ̎ͦE͈̰̤͖͋͒̏͛̐͆_  
_̜̤̼͈̜̩ͧͭ̽̚_  
_̞̅͌̏̊̐͑͗Tͮ̓E̼̥A̺͓̻͕ͮ̑̍R̹̤̩͖̠͍̂ ͖̝̲͙ͅH͈̲͈̫̹͚͛̈̃̎̓I̺̞̣̤͙̭̭͑̇͛Š̗͍̜͎͖̐̒ͅ ̺̟̮͖M̰̲̲͓̲̈̏ͮI̦̥͕̣ͥ͒͗ͅN̖͕̳̽̒̈́ͫD͚̰̰̱͈̳̩̎͊͑̄̽ͭ̚_  
_̦̞̬͇̣̤̞͐ͭ͛ͫͭ_  
_̭́ͥͨͦͬ̐D̥̥͖͍̮͗ͨ͗ͪ̃R̪̤̠̹̟͂̏̚I̱̥͎̗̘ͫͪ̑̄N͍͈̒̊̀ͨ̓͗K̫̈͗̈́ͤ ̬͎̜͉̍̋̃̆̈̋H͕̦̯̭̙ͬ͗̏̽͗̀I̟̞̤̰͌S̗͈̦͓̒ ̆ͫ̃͋̄S͉̽̄͋͌O̜̞ͮ͊̎̑̿̈́̐Ǔ̮̰͎̼̟̻͋͛ͪͣ̊͌L̘͔͐ͯ̈́_  
_͇̗̳̤̖̰͆̑̒ͤ_  
**_͇͔͉͈ͣ̈́̂̏̒̓ͣT̬̽͗̉A̗̻̩̘̞̼̣ͮ̈̌̊̓̔̚K̪Ė͎̘̙͓̠͇̞͂̏̂̔ ̝̯̿ͮ͛H̳͒̈́I̲͖̥̿́̚M̳͇̮̣̎͒ͅ ̳̹̭̌̾M̗͇͔̞̭Ö͔̯͐ͬͯ͒̋̅T͚̤͓̻͉̖̟ͭͬ̔͑̆͑̇H̦̻͙̳̠̋͆͗̿E͉͔R̬̺̟̈́̽ͤF͖̿̈́̒͑ͨͭU͕͓̰͕̔ͣͮĊ͚͖͍̞̯̜̘ͮ͒ͩK̖̘̮̥̘̅ͯ̓̾̓͛E̜̖͔̫̍̂̀ͦR̻̻ͭ̌ͧ̓ͩ_ **

 

You whimper some small sound between lips, loud urging thoughts banging around in your pan. Your brother ain't doing nothing wrong, just offering himself to help your stupid ass, and your motherfucking voices think it's cool to wanna come up with all kinds of things that ain't any kind of appropriate, like he's offered himself as a prize on the Carnival Mass altar. You.....could you show him through your voodoos again? Can you risk it with the way your pan is starting to buzz? You might do something you ain't wont to, might accidentally take him over all the way if you ain't careful enough.

 

".....Karkat....would-....can I..please?"

"Yeah.....obviously I'm pretty psychically susceptible as low to the hemo-ground as I probably am, so you'll have to be careful, but yeah, you can use your chucklevoodoos. It's not like I have anything to hide from you. Just please, be careful." He places his hands on both sides of your face, thumbs stroking slowly over cheeks, down to lips,"I don't know exactly how it works, but I know I can feel you really closely, and that's what I want. Go ahead, I trust you."

  
You love him. If you ain't never said it, you'll say it a thousand times over; You pity this boy so badly, you're gonna up and keep him to you for as long as forever lasts. You take his hands, tiny, soft little things compared to yours, kiss his knuckles, his palms,  and press once more to his mouth, settle him in your arms and ease back into his thinkpan, watch your color flow into him. Fluttery eyelashes tremble over glowing indigo while you open yourself to him fully, voices and all-

 

- _Karkat feels a rush over his mind and body as chucklevoodoos slide into his mind once more, a chilly and lukewarm sensation at the same time. He sees nothing but Gamzee, filling up his mind as his own expressed concern, that intense affection, and that same pity right back at him. Karkat was again hit by the presence of that darker, more malevolent voice in the young highblood's think pan, screaming for more horrid things done to the mutant. He pressed in in curiosity and worry, trying to discern their source, their purpose, and how to push them from Gamzee's mind_ -

"Gamzee......," he murmurs softly, a little confused about whether he was moving his physical or mental self when he tried to brush his fingers over his face again.

  
Karkat jerks in small, uneven motions, his body trying go one way, but his head telling him to go another. You gently tug his arms and wrap 'em over your shoulders, where they lock up and his sweet face looks up at you through the haze of your loose control. Ain't got a single thing to hide away from him, and you're about as open as one of his books,"What, brother?"

You can feel how he winces, physically and mentally, as he finds that sludgy part of your pan, slick as slime, but nowhere near as comforting.

 

"Why..... _don't_ you act on these thoughts?" - _He asks because he is genuinely curious he wants to know what keeps Gamzee under control. It's mentally and emotionally taxing to press further in, a vague impression of what exactly these voices wanted to do to him linger in his head_ \- "What's compelling about them? Why do you want to control me like that?" - _He feels some part of him shiver, and he supposes it doesn't matter whether it was mental or physical at this point_ -

  
You're.....for lack of a better descriptive, _horrified_ , when he asks you. You don't act on them because you ain't got a want to; well, you do, but you don't because you know that most of those thoughts, a good majority of those thoughts are bad in someway. They're in some part of your pan that's all twined up with knowing the things you want, like Karkat. You don't _want_  to control him. You don't but you do, ain't any other way you can get a think on to explain it better, just try to show him the best you can. While you agonize over this, Karkat shivers which probably ain't too good, considering you're still naked and in the trap, the water getting chiller the longer you stay.

  
"What's appealing about having that kind of control over me? What would you do if you did?" - _He presses further for an answer, trying to form some kind of picture he can work from. He knows the part of Gamzee that was respectful of his autonomy, luckily for him, the stronger side, would never want to impede on Karkat's opinions or desires. He knows that side of Gamzee, the predominate side, was moral, kind, and selfless. He knows the weaker, wicked side was there as well, however, and if left ignored or unchecked, it would easily run rampant. He has to admit that he was terrified of what Gamzee could do to him if he decided to cave to that desire. Possessiveness. Karkat has to admit he finds it (_ unhealthily, mind _) attractive. Even pain had its appeal with the right limits. Being shorn from his own mind and controlled totally by another person, however, was not in any way appealing, and he wants to find what makes that part of Gamzee tick so that he could avoid being totally obliterated by it. He finds his mind trying to withdraw, however, when his body responds to whatever Gamzee is doing, along with his need for reassurance_ -

 

_Y̺̟̻̪̰̲͒͗͋̐ͨ͐O̝̭͚̭̘̤̿̓̍̽̾̈́̿Ụ̉ ̠͙͈̜̙F̺ͬU̘̞̥͇͙͓͂̋͌ͯ͆͋̅C̳ͤͨ͊̑̄K̈͂ ̜͕̺͙ͭͦͧF͈͚̼̙͚̪̘ͨ̾ͭ̊̄̔̈O̠ͧ͐͗͆̇O̘̺̩̻̮̬̊L̳̹͚̼̂̋_  
_̺̲͍̝_  
_̹̲̝̞̝̺͛̿̋͋̑Ṙ̪̥̬͓̺̯E̻̥͍̯̭̥ͥ͌̀̅A̿̈́̐̏̑̉P͛̉̽ͦ̒̓ ̖̳̝̞͕͍ͪ̿ͯ̑I̹̲͚̞̪͐͒͆̏ͮN̖̩̫͔̙̈͒̏̀̾̈T̖̙̲̣̺͚̑͒O̘͔͔͔͉͚ ̍̐̑̏H̠̘̥͕̹̪̱̍̿ͩỈ̪̖S͕͕̅̔̇ ͉̱͓̣͖̲͇̾̄ͧ̐P͇͕͚͈ͬ̚Ȃ̬͔̣̀͗̚N̝̬̝̭̻͕̽̋ͥͤ_  
_͔͙ͪ͗͑̿_  
_͎ͩͮ͐͛͆ͭ̚HȂ͕̳͊V̜̮̫̹ͧ̈́ͦE̼̙̼̬͓͎ ̹͕Y̮̣̼͚͗̐̂̀́Ò͚ͫ̄͗ͥÛ͖̟̦͔̘͐ͧ͑̂̔R̖̘͓͔̙͛̐̔ M̰̍ͤ̓Ū͎͙̝̙͗̈́̏ͅT̻͔̻͍͖̀̂A̟͓͓͇̦̣͋̚N͑͆͂T̤̮̝̖͎̯ ̣B̫̬͈̯̩̜̦ͯͨL͒́ͯ͒ͣͫO̼̳̐̏ͤͩ̾O͚̠̝̞̟̓D̏͗͗͗́͐̈́_  
_͉̀ͅ_  
_̳ͫ̀̅̑̆͂C̲̦̦̲̠͒̄̅̊ͪ̉ͭͅL̘̠͕A͕̩͎̯͖̗ͯ̾̂I̘̲͕͈͒̎̈ͯ̑̔͆M̫̥͕͇̰̻ͬͅ ͆ͭ̚H̽I͇̺͖ͯͮͬͤ͐ͧ̐S͗̓ ̯̪̦̃Ḇ̼ͥ̔̀ͦO͓̔͆̆͛Ḏ̘̻͙̠̤̮ͩỸ̫̆͊͑_  
_̥̣͚̙̮͛̏͌ͬͅ_  
_͕̦̥̟̘̀̌͌͌͐ͪ̑D̺̰̗̲͊̊̏ͯͮͪṚ̥̘͓̲͊̔I̫͎̩͙N͓̊K̲̓̈́̈̒̑ͅ ͇̹͔ͦ̓Ȉ͓͕̩̪͓̹͔ͦͩ̈́Ṉ͈ͣ̀̌ ̯̫̤̤̤̿ͮ̓̓ͅͅT̙̭̪͉͒͐H̝͕͚̰̗͈̎ͪ͆ͭE͚͋̊̍̒̚ ̳̹̟̅̇͛S͈̰͎̜̞̙̰̄ͬ̿̒͛̂ͤU͈̰͉Ĝ̥̣̯̙̤̰A̭̭̞̣̬̹̅R-̞͎͇̣̭̈́̎͗ͨS̺̠̭̱̹͂͂̈͒̉P̣̪I̖̓ͤL͇̣͚̤̀̓ͤͦ͒ͧ̈L͉͙̗̺̥ͨ̒_

 

You growl, involuntary, at the echoes that mess you up, trying to put together something understandable, an explanation. The echoing that starts back up in your think pan, however, ain't no kind of help, yet the imagery it creates is disturbingly arousing; Your Karkat under you with bright glowing orbs of purple, either motionless or blindly following your whims of desire and lust, an imitated rush of dark _ecstasy_ zips through your nerves, and you have to clutch at your bro's half consciousness to keep you contained, keep you from giving in to the twisted urgings.

".....Ain't gonna be no kinds of consentin' if I do, brother sweet...."

You don't tell him of the warped appeal of such a thing, that he'd be like a doll, a puppet in your arms, under your entrancement.

  
- _Gamzee's arousing feelings confuse and enhance Karkat's own, the stirring of dark possessiveness drawing his attention. He presses further in, body and mind, but finds himself more nervous and jumpy the closer he comes to sharing something more genuinely physical. Gamzee clearly wanted to, that at least his chucklevoodoos made little attempt to cover. The specifics are a little blurry to him, or a lot blurry, and he curls a little closer to his moirail-matesprit's body with uncertainty_ \- "Just tell me, if you can."

  
You....no, you trust Karkat with the entirety of you, and despite the voices screaming horrible terrible things to you, you show him plain and simple the pictures in your head. Unfiltered, you are bared before him as all you could possibly be. The glow flickers in his eyes some with what you give him. Shows him all how messed up you are inside, the way you want him is fucked up even. Can't just be happy with quadrant blending, gotta take him over and under through your voodoos as well. You know that this is something ugly and a disgusting thing for you to feel, to want, yet you wish for it anyway, fool of cowardice that you are,"....I....it's...it's like that, brother...."

  
- _Karkat watches the imagery, and has to admit he is somewhat startled. He doesn't want to be utterly powerless and controlled like that, it is a mortifying thought. Still, it seems to be a legitimate fetish of Gamzee's, and he isn't going to make the subject unapproachable by stigmatizing it and making Gamzee feel more ashamed of himself. He is even honored that Gamzee would trust him enough to share that darker bit of himself, so open, vulnerable, unfiltered. Karkat shifts, a little uncomfortable in the trap, but not completely terrified, and relaxes further back into the water_ \- "I don't......."

  
He breathes in deep,"I don't want our first time to be like that. But, maybe eventually....you could. I don't imagine I would know much about what was going on, but it's not that different from my own sort of.......thing....for somnophilia. Being controlled like that wouldn't......it wouldn't _hurt_ , would it?"

 

His apprehension and anxiety feeds itself a little into your pan, though you really ain't surprised much. You let your voodoos slip from him, finally, watch the purple light and the shared feeling and presence of him leave. You ain't want to do that to him either, not something you're sure do to your moirail _or_ matesprit. It surprises you when he says ' _eventually_ ', like he'd be okay with that. He uses a word you ain't got no idea the meaning to, 'cause Karkat knows a fuck ton of words you ain't got any knowin' on before, talking about somno-what-the-fuck it is. You try to elaborate some for him,".....I don't think it would put any kind of hurt on you, especially if I ain't wantin' to hurt you, 'cause I would _never_ , Karkat, wouldn't ever hurt you like that, with fear-monger pan-fuckery, that shit's all messed up, wouldn't want to, wouldn't _dare_....," you take a deep sac full of air before continuing,"....no...no....wouldn't hurt.....just be mostly numb all over...mentality-wise....I think..."

"I know you wouldn't," he leans up, pecks your nose, odd silence without his think pan there to mingle around with yours,"We can do a trial run at some point, just so I know what to expect. As long as it's only a temporary effect. That aside, thank you for trusting me with that, Gamzee," he kisses the your lips with the pressure of a flutterfly, satisfied with your pseudo-jam with him. You actually feel.....not better, but close.

"I am fucking freezing in this water, do you want to go back to the pile?"

"Yeah......," he looks you over some before making to stand out of the water. Something ticks at you, and then you realize that Karkat hasn't got his own bathe on yet, too busy taking care of you that he forgot himself. You wrap around him once again,"Heh, sure we can, but Karbro, I got my thinking on that you up and forgot about somethin'..." You pull him back in front of you, places reversed, sputtering, probably because the water is a lot colder to him than it is for you right now. You squirt a glop of shampoo and a handful of water on top of his head and start rubbing it in until it starts getting all foamy,"All up and forgot to take care of yourself, brother."

  
Karkat shivers,"I drew the ablution for you, not me," he complains as you begin lightly scritching into his hair, to the scalp, relaxing into it,"Thanks though...."

"Ain't a thing, brother......ain't even a thing. Gotta take care of my sweet bro sometimes, right?" You scrape lightly at his scalp, same way as he did to you, and Karkat don't need much hair cleaning in the first place, usually being clean most of the time. Carefully rinsing him off, you slick quite a bit of the conditioner in his hair to soak while you wash him down. You try to be thorough but fast, because he's starting to shiver more. Lather soap up and down his skin, and you are so careful about it because you might get at him too hard and accidentally leave a bruising. And because you are lewd as fuck motherfucker, your hands might have gotten their sensual slow on around his hips, Karkat lets out a low set of trills at the attention. Try to retain yourself because you gotta get his nubby little horns,"...aight, c'mere Karbro, let's see them nubs~"

There's a niggling tug on your mentality and you wonder how much of your psychi-try is left over in-

- _Karkat notices how Gamzee slows at his hips to pay special attention. It feels wonderful, but it makes him antsy, wondering if the purpleblood is staring at his body closely, noticing imperfections or overall undesirability at all. He is seemingly, insistently, attracted to Karkat, but the mutant couldn't put the appeal in perspective. Gamzee is beautiful for a highblood, genetics clearly having favored his bloodline as a special kind of superior, giving him stunningly hypnotic eyes, an understatedly powerful jaw, long, threatening fangs, and pridefully tall horns. Karkat, on the other hand, is round all over - large round eyes, round circles under those eyes, a wrigglerish, round face, and round horns and fangs, of all things. Karkat groans when he mentions them, but bows his head to his- moi-sprit? mate-rail? Materail sounded better- to show his horns_ -

  
You snap back from the psychic feed, and come to realize that you are a dumb and you don't know how to properly use horn polish. You dip your fingers in the jar and hope that it's the right amount, slather it all over one of his cute as fuck rounded horns. You try to do it all gentle-like, 'cause Karkat's horns are a fuck ton more sensitive than yours, and you probably tuck that information away in your pan somewhere for later. You feel him go rigid as you trace around one, hear his quiet chirring purrs that tell you you's doing fucking perfect, and you can kind of imagine the face he's making, and that it's probably adorable and that you're missing out on seeing it. You swipe a bit more polish and start at his other horn,"Almost done bro...gimme a sec...."

  
Karkat stiffens when your fingers circle pressure around the hornbed, purrs wracking up his thorax and quiet, breathy noises between chirrups escape him. He all but leans into you, tilts his head for you to easily access his other horn, cooing softly for you. Just absolutely melts, and if it ain't the most beautiful thing, you don't got no fucking clue what is....Well, you have an idea, but that's being all kinds of concupiscent. You think you've done a somewhat satisfactory kind of work on his horns. He's still purring even when you start dousing him with water that's much too chilly for his temperature, so you try to hurry it up and make sure he's completely rinsed off before you stand with him and try to carry him out of the tub.

"C'mon, best beloved, gotta get dry now or you gonna get a sickness all up in you, you almost as cold as me."

He usually would have an objection at being carried, but you got him freshly out of being doused in bone-melting attention. Karkat slings his arms around your neck and kisses both your cheeks and chin, only light shivering. His body just about humming with pleasure, vibrations following out from his chest to all his endy-bits, all perfect and affection-buzzed. At your gentle prodding, he uncaptchalogues a towel from his sylladex, attacking you with it first before he finally caves and covers himself in it. Manages to get your hair and shoulders off some before he gets too cold from the air. Drip-drying ain't never hurt you before. You help bundle him up and unlock the ablution door, walk out into his block. Karkat points you towards a storage unit that you find has a shit load of different kinds of blankets and towels, and of course your Karkat would be smart enough to have a thing like this. You grab another towel, and for good measure what you guess to be the biggest blanket being up in the cupboard, try to slip it out all careful one-handedly, so the others don't fall over. You flop into the pile with your love in your arms and throw the blanket over you both.

He erupts in a low barrage of purring again when the blanket settled over both of you, assaults you with nuzzles. He subsides when he feels your face is sufficiently covered, places another kiss or two on your nose and curls up tight to close his eyes.

"This is fucking incredible. I always love cuddling like this, it's as good as reading a romance novel in the dark. Better, even." His head finds your chest, rests there as he lets his eyes drift shut.

  
You're not surprised when the thought occurs that there are plenty of _other_  things that you two could do in the dark. However, you like cuddles a hella lot, so you aren't going to ruin the moment. _Especially_ with your lovely candy boy getting his nuzzle on at you, litters your face with sugar, sweeter than pie. You get your look on at him, because your Karkat is just so pretty, and you wanna wonder how'd he up and get like that all of a sudden, but not really 'cause your bro's always been pretty, most beautiful thing that the mothergrub up and laid. You do end up putting it to voice,"....How you bein' so pretty, Karkat.....," you croon at him so softly, try not to disturb him by your noise-

  
- _Karkat stills at the compliment, genuine and soft on his aural sponge clots. He turns face up to his mate's, his hand following to ghost over Gamzee's cheek with the edges of his fingertips, follows the line down his lips. He kisses his mouth gently once, twice, and a third, soft, chaste pecks that each end in a nuzzle. It was wonderful to be flattered, considered appealing, even when he wonders how Gamzee sees it, he feels valued and loved_ -

"I love you, Gamzee."

- _He uses the human term to describe the overabundant emotions, curls his fingers by Gamzee's jaw_ -

 

He's too self-conscious sometimes, needs to know how you think on him, hear how beautiful he is. Fingers trace your face soft, and nuzzling lips press at you all of the purest of affections. You don't understand much of the human's " _love_ ", but if anything, that's how you feel at him, too. Love this boy, to the end and back, always.

"I love you, too.......from end to start, and as long as forever lasts....," you cup his face and ghost slender fingers over the softness of his cheek to guide his lips back to you, kiss him like he's air so's you can breathe, mouth at him long and slow.

  
- _It's intense and sensual, a whisper of breath and the tender contact of lips relaxes Karkat into jelly-boned bliss. He groans softly after a moment, a short noise that is hardly audible, follows by Karkat idly easing a leg up to rest on Gamzee's hip, which feels more comfortable and intimate to him already. It's still odd, embracing his moirail this way, but feels delightful in all the right ways_ -

"Gamzee..." he whispers into the quiet. You shiver as his leg hitches over you, bare skin to skin with his molten heat warming you up. Your knee ends up shoving up further under his thigh where it's just that much bit hotter, and Karkat jolts where you are all icy at him. You follow after his mouth as his wispy breathless voice calls at you,"....right here, Karkat..." You peck at his sugar mouth lightly, press him flush into you-

- _Gamzee's body makes him jerk where their chests, as different as two fronts of a storm, meet, stealing away heat from his thorax and thighs until they equalize. It makes Karkat more heated than the steamy fetish of Hemocaste play between a highblood and a lowblood -that he totally doesn't watch or read, perish the thought- to feel this close to his mate, tangled up, pressed together, and exploring each other's mouths with long, slow kisses. It's better than a romcom, more satisfying than a movie night cuddling, and the sheer sweetness of it brings Karkat's temperature up even higher. He runs his hands down Gamzee's shoulder blades to the dip that made the small of his back, his bloodpusher feeling faster pressed firmly right up against Gamzee's_ -

"You're beautiful. So beautiful.....do you know that? How beautiful you are?"

  
You do have to snort a little at that. Naw, you ain't nothing. Ain't that much in the way of beauty about you. Karkat says so though, so you can believe him for a bit. But you'll firmly believe that Karkat is the better of you two, got shimmery dreamy eyes what for looking through you with, his whole self got a flush going from his cheeks to his ears and creeping down his neck to the rest of him. Starts showing up in rosy slips along his curves.

"What about you, bro?......Don't even got a know on what you're doin' to me, bein' all kinds of beautiful gorgeous that I ain't even got words for..." There's a small twinging in your pan, but you got so much love and pity all for this blessing of a mate what you got folded up into you, you don't even give it a single motherfuck and its presence completely leaves you, for the time being at least. You want it to up and leave you forever.

"Me? You're kidding, Gamzee. I'm wriggler-faced, I'm too soft, I have circles bigger than the Alternian sun under my eyes. You, though, you have the body of a troll paradigm, even if you don't eat much. You have eyes that could stun troll Matthew McConaughey into silence, wild, thick hair, a sharp jaw...teeth that could shear my shoulder off," He smiles slightly, kisses your mouth hiding mentioned fangs, hooks his other leg up your hip, nibbles tenderly at your lower lip,"But instead puts together insanely gentle words among other embarrassing sentiments and kisses." 

You have to chuckle at him some, spouting funny things on you," I've got half a mind to make an argument to you....," You stop for a moment to nip him back, tug slightly on his plump bottom lip, and one hand grips under at his other knee,"...I got my know on for motherfucking damn sure that _this_  face," Both hands cup his cheeks now, thumbs caressing softness and rubbing at the darker circles,"..can do somethin' that just about nothing else can; can make my pusher stop an' it can't even restart itself sometimes," Your hands skim down and ghost down his shuddering sides to rest on the gorgeous round curves of his hips,"whether you soft or hard, ain't nobody else fits just the way you do," Give him a quick squeeze and trace him back upwards to finger his teeth,"..sure, ain't got much points in your fangs bro, but can still shred a motherfucker something bad if you gotta...," You lock to his eyes, wide and glossy, and you can see the flecklings of miracle candy crimson blossoming into the grey,"...and I don't as fuck got a know on any other motherfucker who's got beautiful eyes like you," As you stare, you lean in again, pulled in by his own magical gravity-

- _A soft keening escapes Karkat as Gamzee tugs at his lip with his teeth, his mouth remains parted in anticipation of another kiss. His hips shift up when he feels Gamzee lightly tracing and squeezing them, blood starting to pool between his thighs. Gamzee's closeness is almost like half of him being filled, though they are completes opposites in virtually every aspect, Karkat finds stability, security, reassurance, trust, love, emotion, and intimacy when he's with Gamzee, wrapped in his arms, sharing his own feverish heat with his cool body. He cups Gamzee's shoulder blades again, kneading with the tips of his fingers at the muscle_ -

"Let's talk about how you're eyes are shaped like a scalebeast's and framed by lashes so fucking long they touch your cheekbones, how the purple growing in them is hypnotic, like shards of venom piercing the surface, ringed in gold like a noble's, staring down with the most relaxed, unassuming latent danger I've ever seen. They're fucking sexy, Gamzee. They could paralyze a dragon."

  
Blood rushes up to your ears, and it might have even gone south(no, it definitely went south), what with your beautiful Karkat speaking such sweet words at you and him being close in general just heats you up, makes all kinds of stirring up and happen, your bone sheathe being one of them. You hold his gaze steady and intense,"Ain't got much to talk about them, bro. See my own oculars everyday, don't got much of a need to explain them...but you, Karkat.......'s just fuckin' beautiful, an' you wanna know why?" You're filtering the breath between the two of you, sharing airy kisses while you start at him, his long eyelashes flutter like they about to shut down,"......Big pretty eyes what look like they got entire galaxies holed up inside, sparkle and glitter nearly a thousand times a day, fuel whatever's caught my brother's passion for the time. Could light the stars on fire, precious love, burn up the universe and then some. Wouldn't even miss it, just 'cause you'd be in sight, all bright gorgeous, as red as pity you are." -

- _Karkat's groin is heating up on it's own, his sheath stirring with each pitter-patter that Gamzee's compliments set off. He wants to close his eyes into the words, into the affection, but he wants to hold Gamzee's intense gaze more, as warm and excited as it's making him feel. He wants to move with a sudden surge of adrenaline, to pull him impossibly closer, to kiss him until they were melded together. His nook gives a surprisingly strong throb, draws a breathy groan from Karkat as his voice picks up a higher, more breathless pitch_ \- "How did I not want everything about you before? Your pale, your ashen, your flush, your pitch fucking pure, everything. Every part of you, I want every part of you, Gamzee. You're wonderful, you're beautiful. You're perfect to me."

  
Finally you push back into him and reconnect by mouth, Karkat's eyes fully shut, as well as yours and his breathing picks up heavy because gone is the fragile, filtered air of before. You suck at his bottom lip til it pulls into your mouth and swipe your tongue across, run it along the faint edge of his teeth. You make a good sweep of inside his mouth and you think ' _wow_ ', because your sweet bro _literally_  has the taste of sugar. You slide up his tongue some while those high little sounds he starts to make feeds into you as he eagerly slips against you. Your hands wander over his skin until one rests at his grubscar and another back to feeling up his hip. You part briefly with a wet popping smack that you rather like in order to croon against his lips,"Best beloved, you always been perfect, could lay worship to you like gospel..... _would_ lay worship to you like gospel...," Correction, you _are_  going to lay your devotion to him like gospel, and you pop your lips back together while your bulge slips out of it's sheathe and something cold runs out your nook-

- _Breathing and intensity speed up in their kisses, alerts Karkat to the need to accelerate, his bulge slipping out as his lip pops pleasingly out from between the Gamzee's teeth. It's oddly vulnerable, not having a hand to manipulate his own bulge, instead feeling it press and twine against another troll of its own volition. He gasps and arches when their bulges meet, icy and hot twisting together, sending tremors though his body as they writhe together eagerly. He tries to keep up with Gamzee's mouth and that mind-blowing sensation at the same time, high pitched moans escaping him over the hand on his grubscars and hip, his own hands frantically trying to find purchase on his mate, from hips to shoulders to face. It's hard to process all at once, but the overwhelming pleasure is incredibly delightful. Karkat could give anything to remain in that state, suspended on hormones and emotion, for eternity_ -

  
Hearing those sweet, gasping moans and feeling the heat of his bulge on yours spur you forward some to where you roll off your side to straddle him, keep his legs hitched around you. You press deeper to his hot little mouth while you begin a grind into his hips. You moan yourself on the feeling, sparks shooting up and down your nerves while ice and fire writhe between you. You've left his lips, another lovely pop, only to mouth his throat and suck at his frantic pulse, and his hands finally grip under your arms to the back of your shoulders, brushing some against your own grubscars. You whisper at his neck some between groaning kisses.

"Lookit you, Karkat....gonna drive me mad....all up and insane with love and pity and everything...jus' for you..." 

- _Karkat's hips roll up needily to meet each of Gamzee's grinds, his lips going a little numb at the second, thrilling pop of separation between their mouths. He moans aloud when Gamzee attacks his throat, his hips and body trembling with sensations. His hands trace at Gamzee's grubscars, swirling circles around them before he runs them up to the back of his neck, claws gingerly tracing the muscle there, and moving back down to his grubscars_ -

"Gamzee, you feel incredible, Your bulge feels incredible. Your lips and-, I can, hardly handle-mmnf..."

  
Your grinding turns almost desperate while you shiver from heated fingers on your grubscars. Lips make a path down his body, now flushed all over, ghosting nips at his skin as you trail down before you have to somehow remove your overexcited bulge from him, curling on itself from loss of Karkat's warmth. His thighs are soft in your wandering, kneading hands. You look to him for permission, no words, just eyes, just please.  And when he nods you slide over the creamy smoothness of the inner side, trace up and around his twisting bulge and the dripping, puffed out sugar-space he has for a nook. His bulge curves happily around your wrist and holds your palm against his folds so you grind that into him too, watch his beautiful lips part to make sound, nothing coming out but uneven little chirps what tell you he's happy.

- _Karkat whimpers in loss when Gamzee's bulge draws away, but gasps anew when his own encircles Gamzee's icy wrist, the heel of a palm pressing against his nook. He can't do anymore than chirp delighted, warbling sounds that are soon lost to breathy pants. His nook feels almost painfully swelled, dripping unevenly but constantly on Gamzee's palming. Karkat squirms, perhaps too much, to try and work some of the sensation out, arching his back and clawing at the blankets beneath him, having no other body to hang onto. He misses the company of Gamzee's bulge already, but his hand is also incredible at driving his sex to desperate dripping_ -

  
The sounds he makes really are going to drive you crazy, and suddenly you're like ' _what self-control_?'. You get jealous of your hand soon and prop him up to your chest, his back and shoulders rest on your lap, dip a careful finger in his trembling nook and come out victorious with a strand of cherry syrup,"You makin' sugar-traps for me, Karbro~?" You catch his hazy eyes as you wipe your digit clean off your tongue. Return to his sex with a kiss for his clingy bulge and one for his happy sugarnook as your tongue darts to clean up some juice what's spilling out, spread him a little with your fingers and let your tongue get inside him. Your bulge is almost painfully coiling itself, but then Karkat though...oh sweet Karkat,"....Oh sugargrub, 'm probably gonna make you my new elixir if you don't tell me to stop...."

  
- _Karkat lets out a shuddering sound as he feels a long, thin finger dip into his nook, gazing up at Gamzee from his place in his lap. A warm spike of pleasure went through him as Gamzee cleans his material-soaked finger with his own tongue, his nook responds by redoubling the supply. His breath caught altogether when lips, cool and soft, meet his nook, releasing it in a loud cry of delight when he feels Gamzee's tongue slip in past his fingers. It's sopping wet and giving, like wet jelly being pressed against his walls and serenading his lips_ -

"Oh...!! Gamzee, don't stop, oh f-fuck, _please_ don't stop. Make me your elixir, y-your slime, hh-fuck...! Your tongue-nn, is the m-most incredible thing I've ever felt, and I've tried putting s-so many fingers in there, but t-that... mmhf, that's...just....wonderful! More  _please_ more..!

If your precious beloved wants more, surely you cannot deny him. _Couldn't_ even. You are near literally drinking him up, what with his moaning to screaming rhapsody to encourage you vigorously thrusting your tongue all up in him, burning candy slipping down your throat. For all seriousness and honesty, you would bottle his essence up like a faygo pop if you could. Couldn't possibly stop now, even if you wanted to, like you ever would. Your Karkat most definitely doesn't want you to stop, bucking himself to your lips, fucking himself on your tongue. Being so motherfucking sexy-beautiful that you reward him by finding his pleasure nub and keeping it sucked up in your mouth as much as you can, your prize is more of that candy syrup. Gets you motherfucking addicted. You chest rumbles from a purr and warbles up and out your mouth to him-

  
- _Karkat's moans and cries turns to delighted screams of Gamzee's name when he feels that bump of nerves sucked to his mate's mouth, his hips trying to press down harder on Gamzee's incredible, skilled lips. He realizes abruptly that he's getting close to mounting orgasm very quickly, and Gamzee's warbling vibrations into his nook doesn't help the matter. He should tell Gamzee to stop, but he desperately doesn't want this fiery-cold, wet bliss to end. Karkat lets out a long, low wail, pressing down hard on the highblood as the lips of his nook trembles with impending orgasm_ -

"I--Gamzee, I'm about to-, you'd....oh fuck, i-if you keep doing what you're doing, I can't...ohhh, nnmfff--ahhh-! Y-you're good, you're so good, Gamzee, Gamzee..." The rest is just variations of your name while he paws at your thighs, entire body writhing with need.

  
"Shh...just let it come, sweet...spill for me..." And just hearing your name tumble like that while he's having tremors running through as you plunder his heat-space works you up to plunge in with fervor. Works him up real nice, near burning your mouth as his nook clenches down to kiss you back. You suck hard and nip down on his pleasure nub, and that seems to be the final push for him. Karkat arches stiffly, pushes his space further up into you, his head whipped back and breathy cries crawl out. Plush thighs clamp up and around your shoulders, hold him tight to you while his cherry slick flows and you swallow it down like your new favorite red pop-

  
- _A burst of lightning pleasure pierces through Karkat as he feels dangerously sharp teeth nip his pleasure nub, pushing his back up into an arch, his thighs tight around Gamzee, and his hands clenching on the other's thighs. He lets out long, loud cries with more of Gamzee's name intermingled in them as wave after wave of high climax hits him, ridden out by Gamzee's tongue continuing to lave up genetic material from his nook. Karkat's head buzzes with ecstasy, warm pulses wracking his body as he slowly comes down from the incredible euphoria. The mutant pants, disorient  with bliss, his thighs slowly released his lover's shoulders, and his back slumps into his lap_ -

"Ahhhn....Gamzee, you're amazing, fucking amazing, I love you...love you.." He blinks blearily up at you, barely able to keep his eyes open while post-coital delirium overtakes him.

  
You scoop him up and set him properly into your lap, limp and spent and wait until his breathing calms down some before you plant kisses at him, bright red dribbling from the corner of your mouth,"...I got my love for you goin' so hard, Karkat.." A hand gropes at his rear some, and he's got tiny uneven jolts still running from his nook that he jumps a little, accidentally grounds on you, reminds you of your own problems, your bulge tightly coiled and long forgotten wrings itself impossibly tighter and sends a longing, desperate throb through your nook. You lightly hiss and groan uncomfortably,"...Aw, shit.."

  
Karkat can probably feel your dilemma, kisses you gently under your jaw,"Gamzee, you're too fucking patient....I can't believe I didn't give you any...," He reaches down to gently palm a hand over your painfully wringed bulge, encircling it in his hand to slowly pump the length, carefully stretching you back out, holy relief on the curvings,"What do you want to do about this? I think I can stand for another round if you want," he murmurs against your lips, all but his hand totally limp against you.

And messiahs, you love him so much. He's got a look like he's about to nod off, yet he still won't because of you. Hot hands grind on you for your relief, sensation forces your ridges to rise up to meet Karkat's palm. You release shaky breaths while you pulse in his hand,"....Want that more'n anything.....a-ain't altogether sure if-f's it's being good of an' idea....gonna stir you up, bro..." You give him a weak grin and your bulge curls his hand to your nook. You actually would _love_ to be up in him right now.

  
"I can handle it," Karkat whispers back, fingers wound in your bulge, gently trailing the lips of his swollen nook, two gingerly dipping between the folds. Hot on cool again, also painfully wet, presses a small middle finger into your slippery folds, pressing a sensual, sleepy kiss to you. He withdraws his finger to pump your bulge again, and then moves back down to repeat the motion, spending a few moments slipping the finger in and out,"I'd fucking love it, feeling you inside of me...your ridges in my nook, oounnhh-- if you could fuck me until I couldn't move." He presses partially incoherent kisses down your throat and shoulder, free hand trailing down your chest to grubscars.

And you could. You really could, especially if he don't stop dirty-talking you up real sweet. Oh lords, the psychic feed is still going pretty strong. If you weren't hued up before, you most for damn sure are flushing now, a heady feeling rushes at you from heated fingers slicking inside you and Karkat whispering on your lips. As heart-achingly painful as it is, you manage to untangle his hands from yourself, raise 'em up and kiss over the indigo slick what covers his skin. Delicious shivers still shock through your nerves from your nook to your scars to your bulge and back through. You set him upright in your lap, right over you,"....Tell me now, sweetest love, tell me or I ain't like to hold myself back..." Your bulge, now alive and twisting, reaches for him, glides along that dripping slit-

  
- _Karkat shivers as he watches Gamzee kiss his own genetic material from his fingers, his body pressed flush in every area it could be to his mate's- "Fuck me." -He murmurs, kissing Gamzee's lips, swipes his own red from the corner of his mouth, turning his head slightly to lap the purple dripping from his fingers, moves back to his mouth to kiss down his chin. His heart picks up suddenly as Gamzee's bulge swipes the mound of his nook, apprehension pooling in his stomach as their heat differences meet. He wonders for a moment what it would feel like, how it was going to fit, if it was going to fit, if it was going to be as mind-blowing as Gamzee's tongue, and whether he'd last long enough to see his partner through his orgasm. Karkat kisses him again fervently, gripping him as close as he can_ -

" _Please_ fuck me, Gamzee... I need you."

You don't think you could say no to that. How _do_ you say no to that? Why would you even deny your love of anything, really? You can barely keep yourself from driving into him, bulge way too eager to be in him. Got a hand on his side rubbing circles in his hip and the other in control of you, trying to slowly feed your length into him, mindful of ridges that pops in, makes sounds that feels like an ignition point for you, thrusts the bit you got in him more than you meant what has fang-clenching bliss jolt through, runs a current of pleasure up and down your insides. Karkat pants open-mouthed and you press his skin to your mouth to leave markings of you while you slide up further into him,"...Probably....go-gonna do more than th-that, FUCK...," Even with all you did with your mouth, brother sweet is like a heaven vice, gonna burn the sin out of you starting from your bulge.

- _The tapered end feeds easily into his slick nook. As the ridges of Gamzee's bulge begin to press in, however, it becomes a bit more of a snug fit, no more than slightly uncomfortable at first. Then when Gamzee seems to inadvertently thrust that bit of his bulge in, Karkat's breath catches, an irritable sting and an uncontrolled rush of pleasure going through him at once. He gasps trying to regain breath with no decorum at all, the ridges popping in one after the other with increasing tightness around his entrance. It starts to ache from the inside, but he's more than well lubricated enough to make the aching minimal, the pleasure from being so immensely filled overshadows the former sensation_ -

"Oh, n-N...NYMPH-FUCKED GOATS OF THE--the sea, Gamzee, you're so fff-fucking hh-huge.."

  
You laugh, or try to, his sweet-space hugging down on you, and you only just about halfway. He's starting to stretch out some, a lot, trying to accommodate girth and ridge, and you feel yourself writhe in, coil against his insides, absolute ecstasy for you, makes hitching whimpers fall from his throat and his vocal box chirrs for you. Place a hand on his side to keep him still while you pull again from him, push more in for that slick squelching to get two or three more ridges in, stops just at your thickest swell of bulge. That probably is good enough, you think. Your Karkat, beautiful as he is like that, looks like he's just about to pop, anymore and you'll be seeing your bulge _bulge_  through his stomach. Cannot be a comfortable thing, you imagine,"...I-I....think that shhhh---SHIT, should be enough..."

  
- _Karkat chokes on his own air as Gamzee pulls his bulge out, squealing as it was only to stuff more inside. He feels fit to burst, so full in his nook that it's difficult to process any other sensations, pressure firmly coming from his entrance and inside where the coiling bulge squirms in the tight confines of his genetic receptacle. He whines against his mate as Gamzee finally decides to cease his attempts at fitting anymore in, only a little regretful he can't come down further on that girth. Still, what he had inside was enough to make Karkat shiver and pant, pressing his nuzzles once more to Gamzee's front, trying to adjust to the veritable third limb stuffed inside of him. He clenches around it repeatedly, unable to do much more, shifting his hips ever so gingerly in experiment_ -

  
You start slow jutting into him, out and to him again, hold him close and soothe your hands down his back while he trembles from overstretch,"...Y-you alright, Karkat...?" Your own breath is nothing more than airless gasps, with Karkat squeezing so sweetly on you, even if you aren't all the way in. Your vocal box is about going mad with the odd chirps and rumbles of purrs in your chest, and your precious love gazes up at you all fuck-hazed and dreamy-eyed, got his claws in your back, but you don't mind none at all. It takes about all you got not to dig in to him and keep your hands gentle on his skin, takes even more not to fuck him into oblivion right there, while he's moving his tired hips to grind for you. Feel up his insides and your bulge becomes restless with need to and slithers around to thrash.

  
"I'm okay..," Karkat replies softly, his voice jittered by the sort of sore-but-pleasurable slow thrusts, claws dig clinging into your back,"It...kind of hh-hurts, but it feels amazing," It must hurt him a lot more than kind of, your love is such pitiable thing, trying for you. Ridges slide in and out of him repeatedly, edged back to keep him in place, couldn't have escaped, even if he wanted to. Karkat trills high and sweet, brings his hips to grind down on your bulge, helping you along. Cries out when you start thrashing heavy inside him, pressing up hard to him, his nook clenching so tightly you sure both of you might break. Instead, it just pumps louder panting out of him as the ridges slide in and out again, the feeling intense and bringing more genetic material from that gorgeous nook.

  
You get the bright idea to help you both, almost lose it groaning loud to blinding electricity what shocks through you, but you retain somehow. Slip his bulge in your hand, curling up and pulsates from stimulation, get a nice stroke going for him. You lead his to your still throbbing nook, and while he ain't got as much reach as you, still feels fucking fantastic with heat burning up your fuck-space,"..Ho-howzzat, beloved--nnNNFFF-FUCK, yeah..." You slur to him, got a bit of his haze dizzying you up, go lax some on your self-hold what speeds up to piston, can pull further to fuck back in, deliciously lewd sounds when your ridges pop back through.

"Ohh, god, Gamzee.....that's, just sss-so fuckin' perf-ff-fect....," Karkat's head lolls to the side, eyelids low and words slurring, tries to bring a fist to his mouth to bite, too uncoordinated to do anything but rub it along his cheek. He's absolutely beautiful and you're sure to tell him, pressure making to build up in your belly,"So beautiful, Karkat...so motherfucking perfect, love...sweetest thing you are, so perfect, for me, love you, love you so much, ohh fucking lords, I love you, pity you, I don't motherfucking care anymore. I want you, love.." He'd tell you later about the 'nonsense' dribbling from your mouth, you're sure. That mental feed is still going pretty strong, filters whatever is remaining in Karkat's pan-

 

- _He can't--can't think. He just came not how long ago, and the incoming one is building so fast- too fast, oh god. Can't process any other thought but Gamzee, Gamzee above him, Gamzee in him, just Gamzee. Thought cannot help but turn into words, broken and slurring, claws sink into his lover's back and his legs wrap around a too thin waist, Gamzee's pretty much nothing but bone right now, impossibly strong, holding onto him, long fingers squeezing into his thighs, his hips, too soft that the flesh gives too easily and Karkat knows that there's going to be claws and fingerprint bruises, but everything is just so good and he's just so full, he's needs to release and--and_ -

 

You are so close, so so motherfucking close to letting go. Your pretty precious Karkat is too much, plump lips hanging open and his eyebrows pulled together and upward, you want to burn that face into your mind, lock to yourself for personal recall. 

"Are...nngff- you comin', K-Karkat?" You ask, breathless. He tries to flutter around you, but you got him too stuffed up for him to move much,"Gonna make- aghh-! A-a bright...lovely mess for me? Spill all hot and wet and pretty-beauti- _ff_ -ful on my bulge? Come and come apart while we both up and in each other, mix your sun-syrup all in my nook while I'm pushing grape slime in yours?" His eyes are shut so tightly and you literally feel like you're gonna fall apart any moment now. Free one of your hands to cup at his cheek, pale from the middle up, gently caress his eyes open 'cause you wanna stare into them while you lose yourself,"Y'so perfect, Karkat, perfect, so motherfucking _perfect_. Y'know how your perfect sugarnook is squeezing down on me, pulling me in and in all the way through, like it's sucking me towards your pusher, and I can feel that _bump_ , _bump_ , _bump_ \--"

 

Praise must have have been his downfall, because he locks right on to you, gorgeous red-streaked grey dilating wide, and downright screams for you. That pretty nook shrinks tight on you, molten hot floods up in that little nestle-space he got. Soft body shudders with each wave and you think he makes a lot more than when you had your mouth to him. The same with his fire-bulge, melts out your ice with lava, and oh, goddamn motherfucking  _yes_. That sets you right off, you connecting back to his sweet mouth, growl right into him while you swell up for climax. Ridges are trying to harden up to keep your little love all plugged up for your slurry, but you start pulling when the pressure pops, cautious to maneuver out slow as slow can be while your bulge gushes into his receptacle sac as much slime as possible. A little bump at his belly wells up, draws your material up in him anyway, blooming indigo just underneath soft dove grey. You finally slip out of his poor swollen folds, nice and loose and fucked out by you. The psychic link seems to have dimmed out, lessened extremely, but not lost. You lay a hand all careful on his distended stomach, full of the both of you.

 

"Hhhh.....nhh...mnnh...th-- oh fuck....that....good....hahh....beautiful....you're beautiful....hff....love you.....Gam-- love you...." Oh sweet hell, your beautiful Karkat can hardly get any air in him, yet he still wants to try and talk at you, precious, precious thing.

"Shhhhhhh, sweet darlin', precious love, sugargrub, reddest diamond, please get your breathe on proper."

He tries to snort,"Oh, god....ha, you're being so....heh, corny and I love it anyway. Oh my god....," Smiles up at you all sweet, dazed and light-headed. Winces when he shifts and it causes discomfort to his stomach.

"Sweet, we gotta get you all emptied out and cleaned again. Gonna be real mad later 'cause you're sex-sticky," Look at you, being a good moirail _and_ matesprit, you could feel proud of yourself--

"No, 'm...I wanna sleep, please? Just a bit, a nap? I'll empty later, I promise....Just sleep, please?"

You have to relent, he's too beautiful, too much for you, like this, with what you did to him. Just pretty-precious divinely beautiful as Karkat ever is. You tuck him against you, put your foreheads together and just watch him fade to sleep.

"Please.....don't leave me again, Gamzee...."

That finally roots you, you could cry again.

"I won't..."

.

.

.

"...I promise."

You mean it this time.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT NOTE: (Luny)- y'know, this is probably going to be one of the most self-indulgent porn of porn i will ever write unless Brothelstuck pulls through, but otherwise yeah.
> 
> ((ALSO SOME OF Y'ALL SHOULD CHECK OUT BROTHELSTUCK EVEN THOUGH ITS GAMDAVEKAT, BUT THEREIS GONNA BE TONS OF GAMKAR SMUT FEELS AND NOT SMUT FEELS, AND REALLY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO INNOCENT WRIGGLERS, BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT IN THE END, I GUESS))


End file.
